I really wanted to confess to you earlier. So, it is true that to be included as a second person for someone’s life was somehow kind of impossible. It was really hard, so hard and very hard.
I’m sorry for not telling you more earlier.. I was so stubborn and I think I was worthy for him. I was totally afraid of letting him go. I don’t know how to move on. I don’t know anymore. I don’t know how and what should I do..
I’m so in pain to lose him. I’m so in pain for keep convincing to him that I really need him. I’m so in pain for really wanted to meet him and now I feel embarrassed. I had nothing now..
Everyone told me that my life is not a wasted.. but why I can’t feel it like that? Why I can’t keep my pace alone? Why I’m so reluctant to seek help from others?
Actually, I’m getting to not trust anybody anymore.
And sometimes, I can’t think of something for good anymore..
I knew you’re living with expectations. And supposedly, you shouldn’t expect anything from him. You shouldn’t put your trust that easily..
I’m sorry to hear that you’re so afraid to lose him and I feel sorry for what you’d been through..
Anyways, He’s now getting better in achieving his dream. Yes, his dream going to come out very soon and it’s going to be true at last. So did you had said to me that you’re really happy for him and how’s really you felt so glad for him.
But my dear, sometimes, you have to let him go to see his own rainbows after few storms he had suffered and gone through. Just let him enjoyed that moments. You can’t interfered his moments.
You too had really done a great job, my dear. You’d support him eventhough there’s nothing between both of you but only your heart that keep your pace to get through over it. You’d gone through all obstacles and waste your money and energy just to meet him. But for real, you never bumped with him. Only your heart wanted to do that.
I know you’re so afraid to lose him as you think he’d interest on you.
But please, you have to take few steps back and be brave to let him go… Be firmed, my dear.
P.s: I love you so much, dear me..
So, it’s true. Love is hard and blind.
It is hard to love yourself when you’re too blind to see what you’re worth for and to see what’s good on it.
But, you have your own rainbow, my dear. Idk, if you still believe in that..