She wrote me a letter again..

Dear me,

How’s you’ve been lately? I bet you’re having a really hard time again. I think I got that instinct on you because I always take a good care of you unknowingly.

Well, you just know about me lately and I was so glad that you acknowledge me after all these time. That’s ok, don’t take to your heart for your weakness. It’s not your fault for everything.

Hey, I found something about you. You’re really pretty good in making people smile. Maybe you can’t see that in their face, but I don’t think they’re taking you for granted.

Maybe you think you’re useless because you can’t buy them a dinner or anything. But did you remembered those time? When your mom was fallen sick badly and your brother who always provide fortunes to your families but he can’t be at your mother’s side. Actually, he was asking your help so badly to take care of your parents. He even was cried and had trust on you for everything.

See? You’re not useless. You felt failures for what you’d been working hard doesn’t mean you’re a loser. Yeah, maybe your siblings always keep nagging for what to do and what you should do. Then, complained anything to you. They just want the best for you and your parents. That’s called families. Whatever things happened, they’re always comfort you.

Another thing is that I could say that you’re very kind person. So kind. No one could have your way of kindness. You’re different than others, you easily get downhearted when you can’t do anything and you’re mad at anyone especially to someone you love the most. You readily to forgive someone who hurts you. When you’re truely forgiving them, you become a sunshine. When, you’re still taking things to your heart, you become discouraged.

For the next time, when someone can’t see your kindness, be brave to forgive. If it will be taken a long time to be forgiven, wrote it on your sanctuary and tell Him deeply. He loves you more than me. He will do something about it.

Hey, I saw you were crying on your bestfriend’s shoulder just now. I was pretty jealous of her. But that’s ok, take your time to know me more. I will always comfort you with a wise words when you’re feeling failure.

P.s: oh yeah, about him.

Let him be..

From,
She.

The We Letters

Dear She,

I really wanted to confess to you earlier. So, it is true that to be included as a second person for someone’s life was somehow kind of impossible. It was really hard, so hard and very hard.

I’m sorry for not telling you more earlier.. I was so stubborn and I think I was worthy for him. I was totally afraid of letting him go. I don’t know how to move on. I don’t know anymore. I don’t know how and what should I do..

I’m so in pain to lose him. I’m so in pain for keep convincing to him that I really need him. I’m so in pain for really wanted to meet him and now I feel embarrassed. I had nothing now..

Everyone told me that my life is not a wasted.. but why I can’t feel it like that? Why I can’t keep my pace alone? Why I’m so reluctant to seek help from others?

Actually, I’m getting to not trust anybody anymore.

And sometimes, I can’t think of something for good anymore..
From,
Me.

………………………………………………………

 

Dear me,

I knew you’re living with expectations. And supposedly, you shouldn’t expect anything from him. You shouldn’t put your trust that easily..

I’m sorry to hear that you’re so afraid to lose him and I feel sorry for what you’d been through..

Anyways, He’s now getting better in achieving his dream. Yes, his dream going to come out very soon and it’s going to be true at last. So did you had said to me that you’re really happy for him and how’s really you felt so glad for him.

But my dear, sometimes, you have to let him go to see his own rainbows after few storms he had suffered and gone through. Just let him enjoyed that moments. You can’t interfered his moments.

You too had really done a great job, my dear. You’d support him eventhough there’s nothing between both of you but only your heart that keep your pace to get through over it. You’d gone through all obstacles and waste your money and energy just to meet him. But for real, you never bumped with him. Only your heart wanted to do that.

I know you’re so afraid to lose him as you think he’d interest on you.

But please, you have to take few steps back and be brave to let him go… Be firmed, my dear.

From,
She

P.s: I love you so much, dear me..

So, it’s true. Love is hard and blind.

It is hard to love yourself when you’re too blind to see what you’re worth for and to see what’s good on it.

But, you have your own rainbow, my dear. Idk, if you still believe in that..

Backpack Diary to Sabah, 4 Days 3 Nights

Hi guys πŸ™‹

It’s a backpacking trip again.

“Huuh? Again? Where did she had gone to?”

Ops πŸ™Š I forgot to write my solo’s backpacker last year. Tahun lepas saya pi Penang~ 😁 Pastu teruih pi Kedah tempat saya besaq dulu2. Masa tuh jiwa dan jasad saya tak seberapa tenang seperti tahun nih. So, malas nak cerita banyak2 (Biar saja Allah yang tahu isi hati saya.. Sob3x). Tapi takpe, nanti saya tulis bila ada ilham balik yer.

Anyways, Syokk oo~ Jalan2 sorang2, tapi lagi syok kalau jalan2 berdua, romantik gittew. Hihii 😁

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Okeh, tahun nih saya pi Sabah pulak. So, ongkos nyer agak mahal sikit untuk bersolo jadi I ajak kawan2 untuk join sama. Hmmmm.. Tapi seorang jer yang boleh join. Tapi takper, lagi mudah perjalanan dan takde lah banyak karenah. Nak cerita dari hati ke hati pun lagi seronok.(Lagipun kalau saya keluar ramai2, kadang2 saya suka buat hal saya sendiri jugak). Alhamdulillah, kawan saya nih dia quite flexible dengan cara saya. Saya jarang merancang perjalanan dan fixed tempat2 yang patut dilawati. Saya suka redah & tengok keadaan jer. Hehe.

Alright, sampai2 kat airport KK mesti nak guna kereta sepanjang trip kat sini kan. Alhamdulillah, ada kenalan, kak mimiey(Anak kepada kawan ibu saya) buat sewa kereta di KK dan harganya sangat berpatutan πŸ‘. Sangat mesra & flexible (Orang Kelantan yer, nih no phone dia Nurhamizah -0139483478) so, suami dia(tak tertanya pulak namanya πŸ˜…) yang hantar kereta sewa saga 1.3, Bersih & Baru wo 😍. Masa sampai tuh dalam pukul 3 .45ptg & dia cakap nak solat Asar kejap. I was like “hurgh? Awai nya” actually saya lupa kat sini masuk waktu solat awal. πŸ˜… Lepastu dia bawak kami pergi makan dan kami having a really good chats about our families connection and some of recent life😊

After sembang2, pi check-in Hotel Murah di Hotel Garden dalam bandar KK. Lepas solat Jamak Maghrib & Isyak kami keluar jalan2. Konon2 nyer nak tengok tempat tarikan kat sana, but tengok tepi jalan jerlah sebab gelap & tak tahu gapo2..

So, kami pun decide nak pi Filipino Market. Nak shopping cenderamata siap2 sebab kami malas nak shopping tempat2 lain dah. Fuhhh 😲 ada mutiara cantik2 giler. I end up beli 1 gelang. Hihii 😁 dan of course beli fridge magnet(my favourite cenderamata😍) for my adikbradik.

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DAY 2

kami decide pergi tempat2 tarikan ke arah Kundasang since kitaorang akan bermalam di Ayana holiday berdekatan dengan Kinabalu Park.

On the way nak ke Kundasang, kami singgah Rumah Terbalik di Tamparuli (entry for IC holder RM10.60) . Emmmm.. Bayar jerlah. So, bila masuk ‘rumah terbalik’ tuh, oo.. memang semua terbalik dalam rumah.(Memang ler.. Dah nama pun terbalik). Actually, kami ada masuk sekali dengan satu group visitor lain, diorang just tengok benda2 terbalik dalam tuh (can’t take pictures inside, copyright yow). Saya hairan, kenapa korang bayar mahal2 semata2 untuk tengok sahaja? Sebab setiap satu bahagian dalam rumah tuh, ade kisah2 rekaannya. I read everything and was enjoyed. For example, there is a picture of Clock Tower like years ago attached to the wall of that house. It was actually a precious and nostalgia picture for the mom. That’s the place where the mom had a first date with the dad. Hihi 😝 Okeh, done with it. Masa kat pintu keluar ada meow2 manja gesel2 dengan saya.😳

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After that, kami pi Jambatan Tamparuli berdekatan dengan Pasar Ikan Tamparuli. Huhu. Partner trip saya nih suka lah sangat jambatan2 yang tinggi nih. Saya ikutkan jugak walaupun gayat. 😰 kat sini just tangkap2 gambar & of course dekat Sabah ada banyak anjing berkeliaran. They’re actually tak buat ape2 pun, just lalu camtu jer dan rehat2. Saya suka cuci mata tengok anjing2 nih. Comel2 & ekor kedek2 kiri kanan. Pastu ada gak spesis Husky yang shomel & enshem 😳😍. Terjatuh cinta I.

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Jambatan Tamparuli

Okey2, behave2. Then, sepanjang perjalanan nampak bayang2 Gunung Kinabalu tapi puncaknya ditutupi dengan awan. MasyaAllah, cantik dan menakjubkan. Memang cantik2 pemandangan di banjaran-banjaran yang hijau dan first time saya tengok banjaran Crocker yang tertinggi di Asia Tenggara. Sangat berbeza dengan banjaran Titiwangsa. Siap berhenti tepi jalan πŸ˜… nak tangkap gambar sebagai kenangan.

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nampak tak bayang2 gunung Kinabalu disebalik bukit depan??
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Banjaran Crocker 😊
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Opss! πŸ™ŠπŸ˜³ shomel kan saya yang bumbum? *perasan

Semasa berhenti di tepi jalan, saya check google map for next attraction trip (well, main agak2 jer perjalanan since line gps tak memuaskan). Semasa melepasi Kundasang, kami teruskan perjalanan ke Ranau sebab kami sampai di kawasan Kinabalu Park dalam hampir tengahari macam tuh dan Gunung Kinabalu dah ditutupi dengan awan, so tak berbaloi untuk buang masa dekat kawasan situ, tangguhkan esok paginya. (better pergi Kinabalu Park sebelum pukul 9 pagi kerana waktu tu awan tak tebal)

Sampai Ranau, kami pergi makan kat restoran muslim dan solat Jamak dekat surau Petronas sambil2 isi minyak. So, decide another best trip again. Actually kami tak tahu apa yang menarik kecuali Dairy farm & Kinabalu Park yang orang ceritakan. So, kami pergi bawah sikit selepas Ranau dan try jer masuk mana2 papan berwarna koko (tempat tarikan) yang ada. Kami jumpa papan ‘Poring Hot Spring’ so kami pi jerlah.

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Like usual, me with double sunglass.😁

Sampai2 tuh macam blurr, kenape kena bayar untuk masuk? Lantaklah, bayar rm3 untuk masuk Hotspring. Bila nak masuk tuh nampak peta aktiviti2 di dalam kawasan itu. Ada taman butterfly & bunga, canopy walk, Bat Cave, & air terjun. Agak ramai lah orang bermandi-manda dan macam2 aktiviti leh buat samada adventurous atau relaxing. Tapi nak masuk aktiviti2 nih kena bayar pulak yer, paling murah RM3.

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Hmmmm.. Lagi satu, caner nak citer yer, actually I had done something unexpected and totally nonsense. I joined Canopy Walk 😁 (alaa.. Jalan2 atas jambatan gantung di tempat tinggi) at first I was a bit reluctant coz I really2 scared of height places. Then, kena panjat bukit yang sekali dengan banjaran Gunung Kinabalu tuh (bukit jiran Gunung Kinabalu) like about 500m dengan berskirt longgar, handbag & nonsport shoes! Aku nih dahla alergik2 dengan mendaki πŸ˜“.

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This is Canopy Walk

Dan pemalas nak panjat bukit tapi hari tuh entah macam mana ada kekuatan seciput jer and I took that challenged since I saw something in the eyes of my friend that she’s really determined on it. Abang kaunter tuh siap usik cakap “nanti selepas kamu turun, timbang berat ya..” I was like…. Hmmmmm… Arghhh Pergi jerlahhhhhhhhh.

Panjat punya panjat. Perghh.. Letih gilosss & banyak checkpoints saya buat untuk berhenti tarik nafas dan tenangkan sedikit Jantung ku yang berdebar2 bab jumpa si penjaga Jantung *cehhh 😢.

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Cantik kan?

Sampai jer kat checkpoint permulaan di jambatan gantung tuh. I berehat sekejap. Rasa nak muntah & terketar2 kaki aku. ‘Kau nih Hidayah, dah buat keje giler yang tak pernah2 kau buat…’ but I can’t give up yet. so, rehat sekejap 15 minit bagi betul2 tenang.

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Oh no! Nampak tak ketakutan yang kiut tuh..

So now, the biggest challenges. Masa nak mulakan perjalanan atas jambatan gantung tuh. I was like really tawakal to Allah and I still get over it. Straight jer kepala saya tengok kayu titian tuh. I can’t turn around and I can’t stop. Tempat pemegang dia macam tak padat & keras macam kayu. I was really really really.. scared. Goyang… Goyang.. Goyang…

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Hmmm.. Tak paham saya dengan kawan saya sorang nih..πŸ˜“ selamba jah dia.

Bila sampai next cpoint. I saw two girls & a guy from KK passing before me. Depa boleh dok meloncat2 & goyang2 atas jambatan tuh. 😰 Please don’t do that to me.. Boleh trauma aku. Actually, they really didn’t, diorg main2 antara diorg jer. (πŸ‘ Good boy). Bila sampai checkpoint terakhir, this is the longest among them. This is really really really scary to me. Sebab tempat tingginya lapang & takde daun2 pokok yang boleh menutup bawah supaya tak nampak ketinggiannyer 😟…dan.. Goyangan nyer, ya Allah. Aku dah macam nak melutut kat situ. Menjerit-jerit dalam hati ‘Tolonglahh.. Tolonglahh superman ku’. Tapi, I still didn’t gave up yet. Pergi jugak.. And..I did it .. I really2 did it…😭

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Sepanjang perjalanan panjat bukit Poring dan meniti jambatan yang gerun tuh dan kemudian turun bukit yang tiada penghujung, kawan saya really gave me lot of supports, supaya saya dapat bangun balik and there’s still someone that I can used some help. Sebenarnya, I was learnt alot in here. Actually I need somebody and reasons to move myself up again.. I can always used some helps to whatever things I’m gonna do. And to trust Him that He will sent somebody that can help me.

Then, when I get down from there, I was really2 slow.. And lot of people had passing me by and get down there more faster. I was demotivated but I still pergi jugak and I did it again.😭 Sometimes, we have to push ourselves to score something valuable lessons that making us be far more wiser. When we lose something.

Nice job, Hidayah. πŸ‘πŸ˜³

Done with it. Kami turun ke kereta kami. I rest up for before driving (actually I was a driver for all my trips since kawan saya agak lemah bab2 jalan dan dia ada masalah lain yang menyebabkan dia takut untuk drive).

last trip for 2nd day, Sabah Tea Plantation. Pekena Sabah Teh Tarik.😁 Kat sini tak perlu bayar tiket masuk, cuma nak minum teh kena bayar lah.

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Lepas saja bergambar, kami bertolak ke Kundasang tetapi beli makanan dahulu sebelum ke tempat tinggal kami untuk malam itu. Ketika itu sudah pukul 6ptg hampir masuk waktu Maghrib. SubhanaAllah, kabus tebal dan sejuk giler. Patut lar ada beberapa review tak galakkan keluar waktu malam di Kundasang untuk sesiapa yang tak biasa.

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Kabus misteriii…..

So, Check-in Ayana Resort and fyi. There’s many2 catsssssss in here. Bulu diorang gegebu tapi kesian diorang.. kelaparan 😒 sob3x…… Rasa macam angkut bawak balik semenanjung jer.

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Me with the catsss…

Malam tuh saya tidur kurang nyenyak sikit sebab sakit otot kesan daripada mendaki (kadang2 cramp sebab sejuk sangat2) dan beberapa bunyi yang tak menyenangkan malam tuh since situ takde kipas yang boleh sembunyikan bunyi hutan dan orang tidur sebelah. πŸ˜…

DAY 3

Bila kita di gunung mesti kita nak menghayati kecantikkan untuk satu ketika. Yup, Sunrise πŸŒ… di celah-celahan gunung dan bukit2. Pemandangan sunrise boleh nampak dari bilik kami melalui tingkap. It was really2 beautiful kalau tengok secara real. Tak tergambarnya nikmat Allah itu.

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So, kami check out dalam pukul 8.30 pagi. Asalnya, nak pergi Dairy Farm dulu. Tapi tiba2 saya rasa better kita pergi Kinabalu Park dulu. Takut awan makin tebal. So, ada beberapa gambar yang saya dapat tangkap menampakkan puncak Gunung Kinabalu sedikit.

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Kinabalu Mt.
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Sneak peak!

Nak naik atas pergi ke gate permulaan mendaki tuh agak steep/cerun. Gear low jah aku guna. Hehe. Tapi syok gak drive cerun2 nih. Cuma kawan saya yang duduk sebelah tak senang hati. Haha..

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Rest in Peace..
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View of Crocker valley from Kinabalu Park

Masa kami tengah menikmati pemandangan gunung, awan tebal makin dekat dan bila kami tengah bercakap asap keluar dari mulut. Jakun kejap sebab tak pernah pergi tempat sejuk. Di kaki gunung Kinabalu kami nampak air terjun yang tinggi tapi tirus, actually air terjun tuh nampak dari jauh lagi masa kami on the way naik ke Kundasang.

So, habis jer menikmati pemandangan gunung dan bawah bukit, kami turun ke Dairy Farm. Masa turun jalan cerun tuh, memang aku letak gear N (kind of my habits bila turun bukit sebab lagi laju turun berbanding letak gear D. I don’t know risk nyer ape. Saya hentam jer..Heheh πŸ˜›)

Sampai jer Dairy farm, kena bayar tiket masuk. Seorang RM5. Pemandangan nyer cantik tapi bau nya jangan expect fresh macam dekat Kinabalu park lah yer. Bau lembu. Saya kurang sikit tempat berbau nih, tapi hentam jelah. Bukannya selalu.

Pastu makan aiskrim cekelat. Sedap.(saya suka jer aiskrim banyak mana pun, my favourite dessert πŸ˜‹)

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Aiyaa… Bontot moo moo. πŸ˜‘

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Next time, kita datang sama-sama ya. Awak duduk sebelah saya di kerusi ini.

Hampir tengahari sudah. I was getting sleepy and solat jamak di Masjid Jamek Kundasang dahulu. Di masjid tuh, saya terjumpa kucing tercegat di depan saya. I played with her first, kucing2 kat Kundasang nih memang ramah er? Anjing pun macam sama, they’re not barking at us. I love them so much. So then, saya tidur dalam kereta sekejap dalam 15 minit.

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Masjid Jamek Kundasang

Continueing our journey to Kota Kinabalu. I was a bit dizzy and nauseous, mungkin masalah penghadaman. So, I grab Chupa chup di Petronas and I saw a dog resting in front of surau. Kesian dia, kepanasan ( I stared at him deeply..) beremosi dengan anjing pulak. πŸ˜…

Sampai di KK, kami check-in di Storytel Hotel yang terletak di atas kedai makan Chinese. Situ payah sikit nak parking tapi alhamdulillah, hari tu mudah pula dapat parking. So, petang sikit dalam pukul 5.30 keluar melawat Pantai Tanjung Rhu. Menikmati sunset sambil berjalan-jalan sepanjang pantai. Cuaca di KK agak scorching sikit, macam di Penang. Mungkin sebab dekat dengan laut.

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Nak dekat pukul 7mlm, kami melawat Perdana Park bersebelahan dengan pantai. Nak masuk parking RM1 jer. Di situ attraction nya adalah fountain berlagu. Air kolam pancut mengikut irama muzik. Cantik, dan lagi cantik berlatarkan bulan penuh serta kapal terbang yang sedang naik berlepas. So romantic..

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Anyways, dah lah kot cerita2 overall saya sepanjang trip ke Sabah. Lastly, we depart to say goodbye.

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Picture time! With Kak Mimi & her beautiful daughters. 😊

P.s: Sori yer cerita panjang2. Saya tak suka cerita pendek2. Kurang feel nanti. Heheh.

Anyways, I will be waiting for you to come at the right time and at the right moment. InsyaaAllah.

Wherever I go

I was having somekind of really uninviting pain lately. My past and some of occurence were haunting me, it was all like always talking inside me,

“You’re just nothing. Your hardwork doesn’t mean anything to them.”

“move your butt off already, everyone is doing great.”

I knew it was just in my head. But how come you’re able to stop it when you really are nothing?

How would you move your butt when there’s always something like a heavy thing was putting on your back?

All I could do was keep it aside and let it following me to anywhere and anytime. Then, it will just gonna get on my back again. Someday, maybe it won’t be in that form anymore or it is going to be upgraded much lighter or heavier. Wallahualam..

And I hope that ‘heavy thing’ will transform into a heavy cat or something that I love, and on that time maybe I really don’t care if it is going to be on my back or on my lap or anywhere. I will just gonna purring it up..

Coz there’s a quote said,

Sometimes we seek what we think is good, but we’re wrong, because we’re ignorant – Thomas Aquinas

“Loving you is like breathing. How can I stop?”

Do you still remembered those dream that I had told you? A dream that had caught you, the eyes were crying and no one saw that, but only me who can. Further then I told you something like I had trust on you and
“….I will waiting for you to come back to me.”

Well, I really mean it..

Somehow, if you still do not want to meet me at this moment. That’s alright, I can still stand on my own feet.. even if I can’t stand it, I might still had something to hold on to.. Eventhough my feet are already bleeding badly…

I will just waiting for you. Madly trust in Allah.

I don’t know..

Lately, I was having criticism problems. I keep criticizing others. It was maybe that I had been kept it inside for long time. And I felt I had been disrespected for my help-offering and my life-struggle. Then, it lowering my trust to people.

Eventually, I was having a thought that no one have an empathy for me and all I got was been offering to solutions.

Solutions that putting me in a guilty’s corner..

I’m sorry for those who’d offended.. I just don’t know what to do.. Everything I spitted it out from my mouth, I’ll be the one who’d blame of..

So, I don’t know how to put it aside, keep moving and don’t hurt others and myself…

All I could do is writing it in my sanctuary.. And I don’t know someone can hear my help besides Him.

Part-time

Hi! 😁

Actually, 2 hari nih saya buat part-time nutritionist for vitagen exhibition some sort like that lah. Anyways, this is my first time buat keje part time camnihπŸ˜…

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Hari Rabu pagi saya dapat mesej whatsapp’s group exmtm nak part time nutritionist dkat beberapa lokasi dlm kota bharu. Tanpa pikir 2 kali, terus jer mintak since I’m bored and nak asah balik skill screening & counselling.

So, lokasi I picked was Supermarket Salamku (masa tuh ingatkan yg dekat balai islam KB.. Rupenye kat pasir pekan nak ke arah daerah tumpat). Petang tuh dengar briefing2 and ambik baju kot untuk counsellor. Oh my πŸ˜₯ Baju saiz M jah ada 😭. Nasib baik boleh muat lengan (saiz lah paling aku stress skali).

Pagi 1st day, sampai kat supermarket awal setengah jam.. Sampai2 akak Koh tanye,

“Dik, bukanke tudung kena pakai warna hitam?” I was like, “Huuh..? Xtahu plak kena pkai itam. Xdgr pun dlm briefing tegaskan warna hitam” actually, masa briefing diowg ckap camni “..biasa wrna hitam(slow sikit nadanyer) kat mydin kena pakai wrna putih..blablabla (aku dah xdgr dh yg wrna itam tuh sbb depa dok ckap pasal wrna putih jer)” so, saya pakai jelah tudung belang2. πŸ˜… pastu pi jelah cari tudung wrna hitam lepas kena membebel2. (akak jual tudung tuh xbaik.. Dia jual mahal 😒)

Hari khamis tuh xramai org sbb waktu keje. Promoter2 sumer sanggup jual kat tepi jalan macam drive-thru. And the incharge dari kl mcm terkejut dgn semangat diowg. Haha.. Welcome to the Kelantan, sis. 😎

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They’re fun!

Well, untuk screening not much people interested (org2 sini sebenarnya malu nak tahu tahap kesihatan diorg. So, cara approach nya lain sikit..)

Since saya dah lama tak buat keje nih. Malam tuh kaki cramp πŸ˜… sakit pale sebab silau matahari. But, saya xkisah. It was really worthy. Banyak sangat belajar dari akak2 promoter yg bersemangat dan beberapa pengalaman mereka. Actually, they really had lots of part time job done and so differently in my profession. (jgn expect diowg ada professional manners but they know how to ambil hati pelanggan)

Hari ni, jualan laju giler diowg buat. Xsampai sejam habis. So, half day lah jadinya. And I lepak jap sambil minum2.β˜•πŸ˜Œ

P.s: nak kumpul duit for joining the MDA conference tahun nih. Lantaklah xkeje dietitian pun.. Asal dapat cari ilmu.

DiagnosisFobia [Book Review by HidayahCJ]

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#DiagnosisFobia

Nak kata saya ni penggemar buku bertulis kisah hantu, tak juga. Sebab saya lebih suka membaca buku berkisarkan based on true story dan nonfiction. Tapi disebabkan saya sudah lama layan buku Diagnosis yang dibeli pada akhir tahun 2014, kemudian diikuti dengan Diagnosis2 dan DiagnosisApokalips. Saya tetap ternanti-nanti untuk membaca cerita-cerita daripada penulis-penulis doktor ini.

Pada mulanya, seorang sahabat saya, Atiqah (She’s Dr Azah’s sister and also the editor for Diagnosis) ada berhasrat nak hadiahkan buku ini kepada saya. Tetapi sebab beberapa halangan yang dia perlu hadapi dan agak lama juga saya ternanti-nanti. Saya tidak mahu bersoal jawab dengannya lebih lanjut tetapi saya fahamkan sahaja keadaan rumit itu.

“That’s ok, Tiqah. You can keep your money first. Next time, kalau kita berjodoh untuk berjumpa, you belanja saya makan. Hehe.”

So, I ordered senaskhah buku DiagnosisFobia di MPHonline dan semalam saya sudah selesai membacanya.

Nak review overall. I ranking it 4 out of 5 (Not to be biased, ok). The cover illustration is the best dan tajuk buku simple but hooked for the horror theme. Untuk saiz buku, bagi saya agak kurang dari espektasi saya. Saya expect saiz buku sama seperti buku Diagnosis2 since there’s many co-writers dan mungkin tak overcrowded buku yang kecil ini.

My mom(oku with one-sighted) was really excited to read DiagnosisFobia but she complained dia tak nampak tulisan, so she needs more time to read this book but now I think I need to do story-telling kot dengan dia. Actually, I’m not good at bercerita verbally, tapi takpelah, hentam jer asalkan dia pun ada rasa2 seram sikit.

Setiap penulis ada kelebihan masing-masing yang ditonjolkan melalui tulisan masing-masing. Kadang-kadang saya terpaksa paused daripada terus membaca, bukan sebab takut tapi sebab pattern penulisan yang berlainan. That’s ok, maybe that’s my limitation.

Okeh, kronologi pembacaan ini dimulakan dengan Dr Fatin Liyana. Ceritanya bersahaja seperti bercerita kisah2 seram bersama kawan-kawan atau families(like how I did with my siblings.. Kumpul ramai2 time families’ vacation and bercerita kat ruang tamu). Well, as always, tulisan Dr FL selalu ringan-ringan bagi saya and nice opening with pengajaran but it’s still didn’t chilled me up yet.

Selepas itu, Dr Shahnaz. Now it’s getting deep. I know she’s new in here, but masyaAllah. She really has a very deep thought and very details in her writing (nak macam Dr Azah pulak. Hehe). Looks real and I can simply relate it to reality. Anyways, I really hope she still nak continue menulis in the future.

Next, Dr Mafeitz. As always, simple tulisannya dan mempunyai jalan cerita yang bersahaja tetapi agak kelainan sedikit daripada ‘simple’ dia. I choose Mr George for overall hasilnya and I believed ramai pembaca pilih cerita itu. Oh yes, I can’t stop laughing at Wak Halim’s scenes in Lazarus.

Okey now. Welcome to Dr Beni punya imaginasi. Sebelum start baca tulisannya, saya hold dulu pergi sambung buat kerja rumah, masak-masak, main twitter dan seangkatannya. Actually, lepas baca part Dr Mafeitz, saya dah baca satu muka surat part Dr Beni. Tiba2 otak saya terus jadi jammed. “Giler ko. Bahasa inggeris pekat.” seperti biasa he’s good in english writing and I don’t know how the heck he got that kind of abilities sejak first time saya baca buku Diagnosis2. His writing is really cool dan aderla dia punya hint2 disebalik ceritanya kalau ada perasan. Then, I terbuai-buai dalam fantasi The Guardian and Eternity. Pastu, byebye Beni’s imagination.

Now, come back into reality Dr. Mahyuddin. As always and his writing kind of same as his wife, a very details story and situations taken. Kind of reminds me back to suasana dalam ward like when I was taking care my mom in ward HDU in Husm. Not the spooky thingy but keadaan dalam wad. Tiba-tiba terlintas dalam fikiran saya. “Mujur buku nih tak diterbitkan time aku jaga ibu tahun-tahun lepas. Hampir 50 hari kot bermalam, mmg tak berpoya-poya lah aku kat koridor wad dan tidur atas lantai berlapikan comforter waktu pukul 3 pagi.”

Sejak buku pertama Diagnosis, cerita Dr Aizat tak pernah mengecewakan saya. Tiba-tiba semalam saya baca part dia, “Ya Allah. Menyesal aku baca..” sakit hati gila ketakutan tuh. Actually, saya takut sangat2 dengan huraian gerun, pecah2 anggota n ditoreh segala bagai. Pastu, dia pi tambah lagi scene kereta rosak kat tempat terasing (dahla aku suka drive and travel jauh2..). This Fobia trilogy can be a blockbuster movie, kalau collaborate dengan Dr Beni’s Crime of Passion, lagi gila lebih daripada CSI.

Penutup segala cerita, Dr Anwar Fazal. Lagi sekali, saya memang cepat tension kalau cerita seram ada scene driving like in Tajwid. Dan kemudian, Imam. Ini saya tak boleh menyangkal ceritanya, in reality di tempat beribadah seperti masjid dan surau pun boleh ‘dikacau’ lagi-lagi kalau kita berseorangan dan lemah.. Setiap part penulis-penulis disudahi dengan beberapa petikan ayat Al-Quran sebagai ayat pendinding yang boleh diamalkan. Tak semua orang tahu ayat apa patut dibaca dan diamalkan termasuk saya. Yang saya tahu, amalkan surah 3 Qul dan ayat Al-Qursi sahaja. Semoga Allah limpahkan rahmat dan berkat kepada semua penulis-penulis.

Anyways, tahniah to Diagnosis Team. You had done a really hard work and very good job. Next book, tema apa pulak ya?

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Terpanjang pulak membebelnya. Actually saya lagi suka membebel melalui penulisan, lagi jelas apa yang nak disampaikan, tak reti melalui mulut. And I may not a book writer yet, but it never stop me to polish my skills in writing. Buat sikit-sikit, lama-lama boleh jadi bukit yang membuahkan hasil yang baik. InsyaaAllah.

P.s: ayam berkokok semasa saya berhenti karang review buku ini dan saya tengok jam, it’s already past 4 o’clock in the morning…