I had been obese since I was form 5. Maybe I like eating so much, and maybe I had somekind of genetics from my father who love to eat foods in large portions.
6 years ago, when I was third year of studied, my friend, recommended me to use a product to losing weight. It was like meal replacement and supplements. I was naived back then.
So, I took those things, and I diet like giler2 punya diet. I was desperated, and I ignored my friends’ suggestion. It was all due to I want to prove people arounds me what I did capable of doing coz they kept asking me,
‘Hang bila nak diet? Macam mana orang nak percaya dengan hang?’
‘Orang mana nak layan kita yang tak lawa & kurus nih..’
I was studying Dietetics, and I think I was the most obese student in my batch, and I can’t denied that I was low in self-esteem.
Then, I took those so called weight management therapy, and indeed, I lost 15kg in 6 months.
But then, I took blood test and I found out my uric acid was high. And then, after 6 years of therapy, I gained weight like 25kg.
No one knows how struggled I was trying to lower my weight and maintain it. I even took diet counselling sessions, but I failed them.
How stressful I was searching for a job that expecting me that I can give a ‘role model’ to the patients.
Most people wants to be my poliskalori, bila ambil lebih, suruh kurangkan. Bila ambil cukup2, tanya balik, diet ke?
They keep telling me this, and that. But then, they left me…
It comes to by that I feel like I was a failure, maybe just like failed in a relationship..
I am being cynical about being normal weight. Sampaikan malas nak peduli lah pasal kalori2 makanan dan polis2 kalori nih. Lantaklah depa nak cakap apa. Exercise pun dah jarang2.
Yea, I know the consequences for having that kind of attitudes, and I face it right now. I always caught fever and flu, abscess builded up on my neck at the back again and again, badan cepat lenguh and selalu angin..
I know that losing weight need commitment, and it takes a very long time to get the results. It needs my patience.
Somehow, I feel like I had been long enough for having space from losing weight and get a healthy lifestyle.
Sometimes, I don’t know where to start. And I just want to prove myself that,
‘I’m still not doing my best yet, I must not giving up..’
P.s: Sakitnye, hidung selalu ngus2, kepala rasa panas & rasa loya… I think I was overworked cleaning the house..